Uncovering the Wound

God, ugh! What a crazy 2 and a half months it has been. I went from being a Junior in college, excited for a long awaited engagement- to a young women in pieces, yet whole in Christ! I feel like I have hung on to you more then ever before. I feel like our relationship has deepened. There is something so intimate that happens during the healing process. Ya know those times when you get hurt, and you have this wound, and your first reaction is to cover it with your hand and just hold it tight so that it doesn't hurt and it doesn't bleed anymore- and when you are in that deep agonizing pain the last thing you want to do is remove your hand- you just cover it up, apply pressure, and close your eyes and just hope for the pain to pass. There is something beautiful and something so intimate when someone else comes into the picture who wants to help tend to your wound. The initial part where you remove your hand seems to be one of the toughest. God, I feel like that is where we are at in this healing process- I have removed my hand and have let you take a look at this wound. But God, I'm sorry- I can't sit still. Like a child, as soon as you begin to clean my wound and bandage me up, there are times when it stings, and I pull away and I want to cover it up myself again. God I want to be healed- I want to trust you- but God, can't this go any faster? Can't this hurt less? Can't the pain just end? Lord tonight, help me to remove my hand, God tend to my wound. Lord it hurts, but help me to trust you. God I know that healing comes from only you- but Lord- help me to quit being so stubborn. I can't handle this on my own. I have to trust you- I have to. I want to! God help me tonight. It hurts! The pain goes deep, and my heart is heavy. Lord, forgive me for my stubbornness. Steady my heart God. Steady my heart.